tired

Sigh, I'm so tired.

So on Saturday went with Mr Loh for karaoke, at Partyworld Orchard. Parking cost a bomb, and the KTV bill was like around SGD 48.xx for two people.. WOW! Maybe because it's in Orchard. Sing and singing and sang and sung for more than three hours, luckily we had 2 drinks each.. I never expected Mr. Loh to be someone who sings a lot, and that he sings about the same songs as I do. =S Have I just found my long-lost un-identical twin? I hope he's not related to me.. And in the past, he was the one who actually 'inspired' me to listen to Maroon 5 and be their fan, though not official..

Trying to spend more time on my novel..(fan fiction)

Today hangout with schoolmate DouDou.. Ate at Food Junction Bugis... then walked around Bugis, went to Iluma too. Am so so so tired~~

It's my first time having KOI Cafe's Milk Tea, and my first time drinking from his straw too. He's way too generous. We got drenched a few times 'coz my umbrella's too small, and I almost lost it. An old man found my umbrella and returned it to us. A weird security guard 'chased' us away for drinking in Iluma, then we went upstairs to join the crowd of KOI-drinking. Fooled around a little, then went home. :)

The First Timer

MEMOIRS OF A FIRST TIMER NAMED PEISHAN ::

    There's always a first time for everything, they say. Be it learning how to drive, using a mobile phone for the first time, or going on a date (what ever kind). For me, it is my first time having my ears pierced. I know how this seems not new for other people; some have it as an infant, some have multiple ear piercings, and some have piercing elsewhere.

    Since my sister is the one paying, and I'm not someone to take advantage of others' kindness, I selected titanium as titanium earrings are cheaper than gold ones. I also selected the titanium earrings in royal blue as blue has always been my favorite colour.

    As I was nervous about having my ears pierced, I often procastinated instead of having my eyes pierced directly. My sister and I visited a number of jewellery shops but I was never ready. I finally decided I would have ear piercings before my birthday this year (My birthday is in a few days' time).

    I had my ears pierced at an accessories shop named B'Dazzle at Wisma Atria, after window shopping at Takashimaya with my family. Though nervous as usual, I was surprised by the speed and efficient service of the nice lady in the shop. She was also very informative, and asked if my eighteen-month year old niece would like her ears pierced as well. The procedure was speedy and involved a few steps with a few different solutions meant to numb and clean the ear lobe, followed by marking and "stapling" of the ear lobe. It felt like the times I had my finger pricked to do blood tests --  the gun and needle felt like a stapler. Though it was extremely fast (the duration was two seconds) and painless, I still remembered the feeling I held in my heart and soul -- it will always be a first experience: the feeling of a first time.

Here are some snapshots:

(Sorry the second photo is quite blur, didn't realize it)

Ear-V gone!! LOL.. "My ears lost their V"

-September-

Had the weirdest dream this morning..

On Being "Not Pretty"

I have received the advice "you ain't pretty, so stop thinking you are". Well, regarding this, I don't know how to respond.. Perhaps it's time to wake up from my dreams. And, to achieve something else in my life since I don't have the physical beauty or attractiveness that other girls do. 

Stop believing in true love?

I guess that is one option. If I am capable of handling my own life, I don't need a guy. Basically, guys think I am not pretty. So I don't need one at all to give me fake concern full-time.

This will mean the female lead characters in my novel are going to change. I.e. from pretty to un-pretty. At least, somehow, they are strong and courageous in their own ways. And uh, happy-go-lucky, and wacky. Unfortunately, they are never capable of self-control, loving oneself, or protective/conservative. 'coz that's me.

Meaning of (Baby) names

Don't know what this is supposed to mean.. LOLs...
My name, Xan means defender of mankind.
J'kang's name, Dio means wine..
and Niccolo's Nic means victory.


And we are all GREEK. and I don't know why either are 'our' names three-letter words. Maybe for originality. I did use Joey for a while but that is because Joey Wong in my Facebook is hot.

XanXan

Blog Post for yesterday, 10th Sep '10

And so begins my first day of 'tedious work'

I woke up at 6:05 am? I think.. Then was preparing.. bath, clothes, etc.. in comes NiCcelo's morning call @ 6:30 am. Expected him to forget about waking me up.. and so, I reach YCK earlier than him ... Took train with him all the way to Jurong.. realizes when he sleeps on the MRT, he looks even shorter than me!! :O

Was halfway thru' in the job (of 'assisting' Niccolo by being a flyer) till I sprained my back for no good reason.. I don't know how it happened.. and Niccolo's boss wasn't happy with my progress I think.. well Mr. Niccolo Poon informed me that I was just supposed to give out flyer and tell them what's it about IF they ask. Then Niccoolo's boss isn't happy.. I feel like an epic fail+5 or something.. AARGH! WTF is wrong with me

Well so durin' lunch time when there weren't many people I smsed up J'kang.. He's my 'soulbro' in a kind of way, people even said we look alike. Didn't expect him to come all the way to Jurong to meet me, then said "Oh, only IMM's Daiso sell this product." Well, J'kang doesn't lie so I believed him. I fell and bruised my knee (it bled slightly) when I was leaving for the MRT.. Guess my legs were too numb as I was wearing a short skirt (not mini skirt of coz).. So we went to Chinatown and I had some of the new Mr Bean's pancakes (Caramel Cheese and Egg Mayo) as well as the Soya Bean.. We went to MacD and J'kang bought a burger.. Walked Chinatown during the night and took some photos of the lantern decor, then we took the NEL MRT to our own respective destinations (home).  I was so dead beat after that.. Fell asleep on the MRT.. Woke up twice, once at Little India and another time at Kovan. I remembered to sms Niccolo sorry, but as usual, he only replies in "Ok..." or "Yes." Guess he must be even tireder than I am.. 

And I still don't know if my feelings for him are for real or not.. He does have a gf, after all. If it's a crush, then I shouldn't affect him and his gf's relationship by being there as a limiting factor.. He told me he was stressed. Juggling a job and trying to save enough money for his double degree at Curtin. I really shouldn't pressurize him too much either. Hope his new job will be fine.

Utterly Confused?

Random Thoughts
of Idiocy and Confused Notions

• I'm over my ex, but am I the type of person who can commit at all? Or should I say, am I the 'valid' type a guy would want to be his gf?

• 'JK' he is just a very close friend, but I seem to take his matters very seriously, like his personal problems, his health and well-being, and his interests. Am I just being an annoying BusyBody?

• Do I have a crush on NiCc? He has a gf already, so I'll just keep it this way. Yes, I may visit him sometimes, but it's not worth it to destroy a friendship over some stupid confused notions I have rumbling in my brain & heart. Also, I have a commitment problem, in case I forgot. I'm not good enough to be anyone's gf yet, until I change. And change is writtten in the symbol TRIANGLE. Which means, change shape?? 

NOTE: Just thoughts. Real feelings may vary in comparison, or have randomized differences. LaLaLa~

It's time~ (",)

(",) (",) (".)  (.") (.") (.")

It's time for me to forget the senseless, invalid past sorrows. (But bring the happiness along)

Like my counsellor said, past mistakes are not mistakes, but experiences.

I will learn to be happy, even if it takes all the effort in my life to overcome my sadness. Sis said, as humans, we ought to be happy. How are we going to cultivate ourselves if we are in despair? =)

Rumours

Recently, I had been dismayed by rumours spreading about me in online forums which seemingly, were not directed to me at all as I had quit. I was told about it and shown the URL, but somehow, I wonder what the people there are getting at. It's a virtual community, but the barrier between ONLINE and REALITY doesn't show. Here, people are meeting each other in real life and they think their forum nickname is something VERY important. Life is impermanent, and I feel the forum is just somewhere for me to hide from affairs in real life. Now I don't go to forums, other than mobile forums or game forums (for their links), but other than that, I'd rather take a hike (go to a park), or read a book. I also realized that forums ruin my English and disrupt my communication skills. Too used to talking online, I can't even initiate a good conversation with Sis.

Anyway, the suspect who is most likely to be the one spreading the rumours is, the guy who threatened me and tried to extort $$ from me. I can't say who he is, as this is a public blog. But who knows me well enough, knows the identity of the guy. His mother also said bad things to my ex about me, saying I had no respect for elderly! I was very clear the other time, I had not greeted her loud enough for her to hear it as I was shy. :P So here is another person, like me, who jumps to conclusions. I shall avoid doing that as well. Well, one vengeful guy who is full of hatred, and one annoying auntie who lives in her own world and says what she wants. I've left them alone, blocked them on my phone, now it's the time to leave my memories of the duo alone. By hating them, I only will hurt myself more and thrust myself deeper in sorrow and denial. And they would win the battle. So the best way to win is by not doing anything and by not caring about whatever they say. If there is such a thing as karma, then they will take back their 'unwanted presents'. I forgive them for their ignorance, and I will try my best to forget the whole incident.

Empty Threats

I logged in my old account, and another ex, Maverick (not his real name), kept MSN-ing me. Honestly, I left Mave' coz he has a wild and raging temper, and he has a sexual obsession/addiction. He would call me and ask me dirty things, and I would reject him, or not even answer my phone itself. He also likes to act very regimental. He thinks giving people orders is the best way to handle people. I guess, in this position, he is very likely to be trod on by higher-order people in his workplace, as he was working with security previously. I don't know now, but it's not right for him to want to get back with me as I'm his ex. I previously re-tweeted this quote by a random person on Twitter.

postthelove

  

PTL Post: An "ex" is called an "ex" because it's an EXample of who you shouldn't go for… http://goo.gl/fb/E0tBC

Very meaningful, isn't it? 100+ others also re-tweeted it. I'm not going into that MSN account already. Let him say open threats or what, he can go talk to the wall if he likes. Threatening will not help him in his job or life. He is just running from one problem to another by trying to get back with me. Problems will not disappear or solve by themselves. People change, but anger, temperament remain, perhaps hidden or dormant. Like in volcanoes. They just wait for a moment to ERUPT.

Holidays

Fancy FALLING SICK on the first day of your holiday! I often wake up with a sore throat, but this time, it's for real! On the second day, a slight flu followed suit. It's the third day now.. I hope a fever won't join its comrades. And the library book I requested a hold for, it is still not available. Great, now I have to wait even longer for that book I'm so desperate for!

Gratitude

-Thanks Sis & Mum (& the rest of my family) for being at my side when I need them.

-Thanks Dio for accompanying me for lunch when I feel I need someone to talk to. and for clearing doubts in novel storylines.

-Thanks Buddhism for coming into my life when I was lonely and confused, and needed attention. =)

-Thanks to my enemies/exes I used to hate for letting me realize the consequences of loving or liking too much (that it becomes an obsession).

It's time.~

Just for fun

It's time to leave the past
To seek a new beginning
Forget the pain I must
And work towards a good ending

Strength is what I have now
Persevere in my path
Never to failure I will bow
Instead I will have the last laugh

Gods may be watching over me in my life
Guide me and assist me they will
But only if I help myself strive
Success will then be real.


I know it's weird but just felt the knack for writing a senseless poem. (Dio, if you're reading, please laugh. You're allowed to.)